depression is

depression is

knowing you should, but you don't

it's accepting invisibility as a cloak

it's knowing you should ask for help, but knowing that you won't

it's feeling everything and nothing simultaneously

it's laundry lying in heaps

it's unpicked weeds in your garden

it's driving late at night in the fog with no lights

it's weights around each limb and a crown of bricks upon your head

it's counting down the minutes until you can crawl back in your sheets

it's hoping sleep will give you some relief,

but knowing that it won't - if it even comes at all

it's knowing you should eat, but having no energy to prepare food

it's being bone achingly tired no matter how much time you spend in bed

it's wanting to be invited, but never wanting to go

it's unread messages and unreturned calls

it's keeping lists of all the things you never did

- a running tally in your head

it's shame for feeling empty in a life that is so full

it's faking smiles and laughing heartily at jokes

but mostly,

it's feeling nothing at all

and wondering if you ever will again